Wednesday, November 17, 2004
bEen tRying to bLog yeSterdae in sChool bUt cAnt.. saE wAt eRror Or wAt.. Now fiNally cAn lE sIa.. haHa.. sInc likE i nOt thE onlI nOt bLogging sIa.. jaNz,zHongluE,mEtta,aH rU,lIng,lydIa...eTc aLot aSo nOt uPdatinG liKe mE.. mM..sUppoSing tOo bUsy laH.. oNli kJ n Ee mEi aMong mY fRieNds bEen uPdating mOre ofTen bA..
fEelinG sO tiRed thEse dAes... uNtil sTart to fEel diZzy n heaDaChe..wOrk yeSterdAe...bOring..mAYbe all my fRieNds nOt working.. i sulInda and diyaNa is woRking.. aT firSt dErriCk aSk me eXtend to 12, bUt thiNking cAnt aLthought saE oK.. thEn go n fiNd repLacement..thEn foUnd jUn wEi :X thaNkz laH.. iF woRk.. i todAe go sChool sUrely tiRed dE..
mEet uP wiF daNiel aFter work.. hE sEem sO eXhaUsted.. gOt aLot of pRoblEm haBing nOw.. i meaN in thE sEnse oF hIm.. hill.. tHereIs woRk,faMily,sTudieS... aNd mE.. haZi.. i cOuld dO ntH to hElp hIm,but onLi liSten.. bUt hE aSo hAb pRoblEm wIf mE..
mM.. i aLready tRy to chaNge aBit oF me..jUz tO maKe him haPpy.. bUt sTill thEre iS a liMit tO evEryonE.. wE arE maDe wIf thosE fAults.. i cAnt poSsiblE tRy to eliminAte all my fault.. i sTill caNt bE tat goOd.. i reAli aRe tat fORgotful.. thE moSt.. i cAn pUt alaRm in mY pHone to remind mE evErythIng.. bUt tHEn, tHere aRe still chaNce tAt i will aSo poSsiblE foRget to evEn to pUt alArm.. i aM reAli TAT foRgotfUl..bUt thEse, i wiLl tRy tO maKe it a haBit to remInd.. But i nEed timE to bE tAt.. nO onE cOmplaIn abOut mE bEing tAt laSt tiME.. sO iT bEcomE a haBit.. fOR 17 yeArs.. i aM tat.. 5 mOnths iS nOt lonG eNough to chaNge so faSt.. i jUz nEed mOre timE 4 u to giF mE..sOme sAe.. wHy chAnge foR pEople..jUz bE yoUrself.. pEoplE will lIke u 4 wHo u aRe.. thEn.. itS juZ a efFort hEre to chAnge.. EvEn i dDnt suCceSsful chAnge,iF hE reAlise i tRying,thiNk hE wil aSo bE gLad.
i aM reAli Not tHat zHu donG, i Not thE tYpe tO sAE hOw mUch i cAre aBout u,hOw mUch i duN wAn u to bE sO tiRed all thoSe roNg mA dE words iN my mOuth.. evEn i sAe..iTs lIke v haRd thEn wAt thE pOint iF i aPpear miaN qiAng to u.. u aSo woNt bE haPpy.. i dUn cArry wOrds to mY moUth. But i shOw oUt thRough aCtioN..
Juz sAw his msN meSsges : Juz Nd soMe 1 UnDerStaNdinG,CaRing & Who i LoVe bY my SiDe to Go thRouGh Tis pErioD : sEe lEh.. sEem liKe i nOt reAli tAt undErstaNding all tat to him.. i knOw i cAnt hElp hIm sOlve mUch prOblems .. bUt iS nOt aS if i duN wAn.. i cAnt hElp hIm sTudy,teaCh hIm..eTc.. i onLi leSs gO oUt wiF him, or gO oUt iS sTudy dE . . i cAnt hElp hIm maKe hiS bRother stUdy whEn hE duN wAna tO . . i cAnt maKe hiS dAd hEalth tuRn bEtter. . i cAnt maKe hIm fEel leSs tIred whEn hE bEen woRking mOre ofTen theSe dAes anD haBing nOt eNough slEep thE neXt dAe..i onLi cAn hElp u fEel leSs sTress bY taLking oUt thiNgs, giF yA aDvice oR wAtever.. i nOw i aso dUno wAt u wAn mE to dO.. u alwAy saE uNtil duN wAn saE dE... i nOt tat cLEar.. sOmetimE u haB to teLl mE sTraight thEn i kNow.. haZi . . i aM aSo
t-i-r-e-d . . wHy iS it prOblem keEp oCcuRing.. iSnt reAli i aM tAt a baD gF oR reAli .. iS juZ a hIgh eXpectAtion oF hiS.. thInk iS juZ plaInly mY faUlt.. agaIn..
YYY
Memories that fades
4:42 PM